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"When I'm Gone; Reclaiming Safety, Hope and Trust after Trauma"Includes TRUST:  A Survivors Framework for Healing

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A journey of survival, healing, and empowerment, When I’m Gone is both a deeply personal memoir and a guide for reclaiming life after trauma.

At its heart, this book acknowledges the terror of living under threat—the near-death experience that altered everything, the years spent looking over my shoulder, and the relentless flight response that kept me running. It is also a tribute to the resilience I found within, a legacy of hope for my children and the world, and a promise to those who feel lost in the darkness: healing is possible.

Through raw storytelling and practical insights, I share the techniques and lessons I taught myself to rebuild my life. From reclaiming safety and trust to rediscovering hope, this book is a testament to the power of transformation. Driven by a passion to help others, I offer tools and strategies for anyone seeking to break free from the chains of trauma and build a life filled with peace and purpose.

When I’m Gone is more than a book—it’s an invitation to heal, to grow, and to find freedom.

— Deborah J Crozier, Author & Survivor

My Story

“When I’m Gone: Reclaiming Safety, Hope and Trust after trauma“, tells a powerful story of domestic violence, attempted murder, and the fight for survival. I recount my experiences of enduring these horrors, the overwhelming grip of the flight response, the supernatural powers and instincts I summoned to protect my children, and the subsequent journey towards recovery.

In sharing my experience of what is often referred to as non-fatal strangulation (NFS), I recall the impact and the aftermath that the near fatal attack had on the lives of myself & my young children. Many unexpected & frightening symptoms can follow a life threatening attack. After the threat response is triggered, if the arousal cycle doesn’t complete, the threat response can remain locked on, resulting in the body reacting to anything & everything that resembles a threat, regardless of whether the threat is real or perceived, which impacted my life for years.

No one tells you that survival mode out of context, can be terrifying, painful & confusing, or that survival is a natural, healthy response in all mammals & the symptoms are appropriate reactions given the circumstances in which they occurred.

‘When I’m Gone’ chronicles an unprovoked vicious attack that almost ended my life, and how it led to a journey of self-discovery, true love, passion & purpose.

Includes a survivors framework for healing and transformation.

Latest Research

Non-Fatal Strangulation increases the odds of being murdered by 750%

According to a study published in the Journal of Emergency Medicine, (Glass, et.al., 2008), found that 24.6% of 57 adult women killed by a male intimate partner in 1995 or 1996 in Chicago were killed by strangulation or smothering.

Of the 494 women sampled as they attended hospitals & clinics in Chicago who had experienced intimate partner violence in the past year, 47.3% had experienced one or more incidents of choking strangulation by her partner and 57.6% had ‘ever’ experienced choking or strangulation by their abusive partner.

<p>There was no difference between women who were not killed and the women who were killed in having experienced prior choking or strangulation.</p>
<p>In summary, the authors of the study found that non-fatal strangulation is an important predictor for future lethal violence among women who are experiencing intimate partner violence.</p>
<p>Glass, N., Laughon, K., Campbell, J., Block, C. R., Hanson, G., Sharps, P. W., &amp; Taliaferro, E. (2008). Non-fatal Strangulation is an Important Risk Factor for Homicide of Women. <i>The Journal of Emergency Medicine</i>, <i>35</i>(3), 329–335. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jemermed.2007.02.065</p>

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