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"When I'm Gone" A True Story of  Trauma, Survival & Purpose

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"Having undergone the harrowing ordeal of Non-Fatal Strangulation and the arduous process of recovery that ensued, I am compelled to offer a first-hand perspective on the events during and post a near-fatal assault. In this e-book, I aim to provide valuable insights and real-life illustrations to resonate with fellow survivors seeking understanding and support. Grappling with the repercussions of the incident and the unforeseen symptoms that manifested afterward necessitated years of introspection and research to comprehend fully."

— Deborah J Crozier, Author & Survivor

My Story

“When I’m Gone”, tells a powerful story of domestic violence, attempted murder, and the fight for survival. I recount my experiences of enduring these horrors, the overwhelming grip of the flight response, the supernatural powers and instincts I summoned to protect my children, and the subsequent journey towards recovery.

In sharing my experience of what is often referred to as non-fatal strangulation (NFS), I recall the impact and the aftermath that the near fatal attack had on the lives of myself & my young children. Many unexpected & frightening symptoms can follow a life threatening attack. After the threat response is triggered, if the arousal cycle doesn’t complete, the threat response can remain locked on, resulting in the body reacting to anything & everything that resembles a threat, regardless of whether the threat is real or perceived, which impacted my life for years.

No one tells you that survival mode out of context, can be terrifying, painful & confusing, or that survival is a natural, healthy response in all mammals & the symptoms are appropriate reactions given the circumstances in which they occurred.

‘When I’m Gone’ chronicles an unprovoked vicious attack that almost ended my life, and how it led to a journey of self-discovery, true love, passion & purpose.

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Latest Research

Non-Fatal Strangulation increases the odds of being murdered by 750%

According to a study published in the Journal of Emergency Medicine, (Glass, et.al., 2008), found that 24.6% of 57 adult women killed by a male intimate partner in 1995 or 1996 in Chicago were killed by strangulation or smothering.

Of the 494 women sampled as they attended hospitals & clinics in Chicago who had experienced intimate partner violence in the past year, 47.3% had experienced one or more incidents of choking strangulation by her partner and 57.6% had ‘ever’ experienced choking or strangulation by their abusive partner.

There was no difference between women who were not killed and the women who were killed in having experienced prior choking or strangulation.

In summary, the authors of the study found that non-fatal strangulation is an important predictor for future lethal violence among women who are experiencing intimate partner violence.

Glass, N., Laughon, K., Campbell, J., Block, C. R., Hanson, G., Sharps, P. W., & Taliaferro, E. (2008). Non-fatal Strangulation is an Important Risk Factor for Homicide of Women. The Journal of Emergency Medicine35(3), 329–335. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jemermed.2007.02.065

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